Imagine me sitting in my family room. I had just turned off the DVR recording of Ellen & this is the image I see. My heart stopped as I gasped. Immediately I started thinking, "Where's James, Where's James?" I'm sure he had just told me the night before, but I can never remember! With the plane submerged like this, I couldn't tell where the engines were (this is the only way I can differentiate between his planes & the big ones). Then they start talking about 150 something people. I thought that's what I heard, but maybe I subconsciously put in the one hundred (his planes hold 50 something). Finally they say it's an A320. I know this isn't his plane. With relief came tears. Why didn't I cry when I thought it could be his plane in that water? Then my poor mother in law calls. I thought she probably had seen the news, but I didn't want to alarm her if she hadn't. She was so calm, "How are you doing?" "Where's your husband?" Immediately I knew she had seen the news, "It's not him. That's not his plane." I'm so glad I had figured that out before she called, or I think I would have broken down on the phone & totally freaked her out.Six years ago when James decided to become a pilot I had fears. But throughout the years I've pushed those into the back of my mind. I'm so glad he's found a career doing something he truly loves - something he's good at! This week brought those fears back up to the front of my mind. I'm so glad he's home until Wednesday. We'll see how well I do when he leaves again. Hopefully by then I'll have repressed the fears once again.
